“Who you call an elephant?”
Our dog is big and clumsy.
We call her Four-Ton. She races through the house, knocking down children on the way and skidding into walls. She runs through the legs of unaware grownups, making them say, “Whoa!” Coffee tables? Don’t leave coffee cups, books, papers or toys on top or they’ll wind up on the floor.
But when it comes to sneaking into the kitchen to have a snack out of the trashcan, she’s as nimble as a ballet dancer. [continue reading…]
“Give me a chance to wake up, and all will be peachy.”
My youngest daughter likes to sleep in, and so when she came to breakfast earlier than usual, I said, “Wow, you’re up early.”
The seven-year-old looked at me blankly, put her head down on the table and said groggily, “My body’s awake, but my brain’s still asleep.”
I laughed.
Her older brother, an early-riser like me, looked at his sister as if she was telling a joke and said, “Quick, what’s 2+2.”
“I don’t know,” she said, “but I’ll be sure to tell you when my brain wakes up.”
“Hey, are we going out, or what?”
It was 9:30 p.m. on a Friday night, and I put on my pajamas.
“Really?” my wife said, looking at me up and down. “It’s Friday night, and you’re getting ready for bed. At this hour! I mean, what are we, old or something?”
“Ah, we’re not going out, are we?” I asked.
“No, but that’s not the point. What if somebody came to the door?” she said.
“Who?”
“I don’t know. A friend. What if a friend popped round for a drink and knocked on the door?” [continue reading…]